Staring at the blank page, thinking how to start. I don’t know really. It’s taking me hours and days just to complete this.
The truth is..I am still in love. But I am tired. Tired of trying by my self. I know I have been saying this countless times but this is it. I can’t do this anymore. I can’t wait anymore. I can’t spend my time thinking about you anymore.
I’ve been telling my self not to think about you but here I am, still talking about you.
You don’t know how much I try, do you?
It’s all my fault, I know. I am the one who fell hard. I am the one who told the truth. I may fall on my face but at least I tried. And that I tried, I can’t just stand there pretending not to care, pretending it never happened.
At one moment I thought I was over you. But how is that even true when all I am doing is keep on thinking about you, nudging you on MSN all the time and everyone around is talking about you. What am I supposed to do? Hide from reality? Run from everything? Or stay here, pretending that I am okay?
I’m sorry if I’ve been bothering you too much. I’m sorry that I’ve been asking too much from you. I am sorry I have a hard time moving on. Give me time. I’ll get over you soon enough. I’ll disappear in the midst, and you won’t even realize.
I’ll go. I will try. I know I can do this. I just need time.