Dear Abang,

I don’t know how to start this post.. Nor do I know how to end this.

I’ve been drowning myself in tears since morning, and it got worst.

This morning, I woke up to the loudest cry from my dearest darling cat, Abang… When I opened my door, he was outside. He struggled to get in, dragging his two back legs. I was shocked. He was crying, totally in pain. I didn’t know what to do.. Went down and got my maid upstairs to help me. We tried massaging and talking to him to comfort him.. We figured that he might fell and sprained his two back legs. Texted my aunt. My parents and her came back as soon as possible. Brought him to the clinic. He couldn’t feel anything on his legs, his temperature went down..

Abang is the type who gets scared and nervous very easily. Whenever we bring him to clinic or sees strangers. I was shocked to see him breathing really fast from morning. I guessed he was still shocked at the fact that he couldn’t feel his legs. I mean, even us humans would feel the same way too..

We placed him in a big cage for him to rest, just outside my room. He decided to try calming himself down.. he groomed himself too. Abang, being an OCD cat, he doesn’t like feeling dirty.. He licks his fur all the time. He always make sure he is always at his cleanest state..

I fell asleep by afternoon. At about 5.20pm, I heard a really big cry, probably the most painful one. And then.. sister came in to my room. “Mi, he’s gone. He’s gone.” I saw him there, in the cage, frozen, his mouth opened after his last cry, blood coming out of his mouth.

I was shocked. I’m still shocked.

Abang.. You’ve been my bestfriend, my darling boo, my honey bee, my brother, dengan curhat, dengan kelaie, dengan makan, dengan tidur every night. You always sleep on my arm, you always wait for me to be back home, and always complained at me if I come home late.. You comfort me when I cry, you’re with me when I’m sick.. You’re a cat who never look straight in the camera, pretending you’re not looking… Too adorable..

Mama even said.. “Nada lagi dangan mu tidur ni, Mi..”

At some point, I forgot the fact that you’re just a cat. Always talking to you, curhat to you, as if you would understand.

You’re the boy we brought back all the way from KB. You’ve grown up so fast, you’ve grown up so well. I’m sorry, dearest, if I ever hurt you in any way, if we always fought.. I have no regrets, Abang. You’re the best, and you will always be.

Words couldn’t express how much you mean to me, how much I love you, how much I will miss you.

Thank you Abang, for the great memories you left. Thank you Abang, for everything.

I love you, Abang. I always do. Pray for my health, for my success, Abang. May you rest in peace, dearest. As much as I wanna let you go, it’s aching me. Go, Abang. You’re free now. You won’t feel all the pain anymore…

Love,

Ummi.

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